The MoT Top 10: The Twenty-Fourth

A little back-story. One year ago today, DeMi was coming up with this Top 10, and my roommate, Frank, overheard our list. Halfway through the list we realized that April 1st was the next day and we decided that we could not miss out on an April Fool's themed blog. So Frank asked what happened to this Top 10, and we told him it didn't exist, and half-asleep he tried to come to terms with our....LIE!

HERE IT IS FRANK, APRIL FOOLS! ONE YEAR LATER!

Top 10 Ways to Get Your Money's Worth

10) Pick a restaurant, grab a plate and make the kitchen your buffet.

9) Hire a prostitute and shoot video of your fun together. Sell it as porno.

8) Always take a penny; never leave a penny.

7)  Buy some skittles. Taste the rainbow. Follow the rainbow. Make the leprechaun your bitch.

6) With your gym membership, make it a point to touch every machine in the gym, even the ones that somebody maybe using. Maybe with a wink.

5) Always extend the hose of the gas dispenser and shake it vigorously for 5 minutes to get "every last drop"

4) Double bag all your groceries at the self check-out. Make accessories from these bags, and fail at starting a new fashion trend.

3) Stay 3 hours after you're done with a meal to continue getting water refills. Go to the bathroom when they're not looking to make them think you have a bladder of steel.

2) Rock a temporary or real tattoo of your foes telephone number on your forehead while sitting in the front row at a big sports venue.

1) Buy North Korea, resurrect Kim Jong Il and hence resurrect all that was right about the country.

-DeMi

The MoT 10: The Tenth

Top 10 Things to Do on April Fool's Day

10) Yell at your boss. Let him or her know what a shitty job they are doing as a supervisor and a person. Be as specific as possible. Then quit. Bookend it, of course, with an "April Fool's"

9) In church, stand up, and proclaim "YOU ARE ALL FOOL'S, APRIL FOOL'S, HAR HAR HAR HAR", leave.

8) Masturbate in the bathroom, come outside, and tell onlookers "April Fool's".

7) Sit down with your parents. Gently break the news to them that you are dying. Then say "Just kidding, I thought that would make it easier to tell you..... I'm gay". And before they break out into tears, relieve them with an "April Fool's".

6) Smash an egg on someone's head. When they get mad ask them why they're not in the spirit.

5) Pull the ol' door wedge in revolving door trick.

4) When walking in a large group of people, wait until somebody passes your group and then point and look at the sky in unison. Try to see how long you can confuse the person. Similarly, when walking along, avoid arbitrary points on the ground with gasps and obviously overt, outward (redundancy is forgiven with alliteration) fear in hopes the person behind you blindly follows suit.

3) Carry a baggy with a non-descript white powder in it, scratch your nose often.

2)Introduce yourself as the esteemed so and so.

"I am the esteemed Dauphin of Thailand"

"I am the esteemed Head of Broccoli"

"I am the esteemed Duchess of Holland"

"I am the esteemed feelings of Jack"

1) Tell your good friend that they still haven't figured out your joke from last year, and that it's both pathetic and hilarious. The more people in on this the better.

"So Mom...do you know about this prank of Mi's?"

*hysterical laughter* *shifty eyes*

"Nooo Mom, not you too!"


-DeMi


P.S We have postponed April Fool's day until Further Notice.





P.P.S Further Notice Fool's!

April Fool's Day

Jessica.

It's a real damn shame you don't read our blog...you know why?

Because tomorrow is April Fool's Day.

So I will outline my Plan of revenge  in this blogpost thang, and you won't have a clue. 

Ok, so remember last April Fool's Day when you unceremoniously smeared that carrot cupcake in my face and jubilantly yelled "April fool's" like you just pulled of the granddaddy of pranks? Yeah

Well tomorrow, Im gonna have an army of carrot cupcakes on a platter. Bug's Bunny prolly thought that revenge was best served with carrots, and more of 'em. 

Tothe face.

Ze Army

My revenge? Simple. I will assuage you with carrot cupcakes. You won't stand a chance.

My sympathy. Non-existent.

-Don't mess with Mi