Top 10 Things that De Doesn't Like
As difficult as it was, I did my best to rank these from least to most disliked:
8) Hashtags in texts. Those who participate in this reprehensible activity clearly don't understand the hashtag's function. The occasional hashtag in a text as a joke, alright, but meaningless hashtagging has got to stop. Unfortunately, it may be too late; the hashtag disease has spread to spoken communication:
7) Selfies in which you can see the camera.
6) Really bad/non-segues in a comedy routine:
"And I told my buddy, 'The aliens will never come back if you don't stop making up abduction stories........So I was chatting up this old lady at a Megadeth concert the other day'"
5) This might hurt to type: irregardless. It bothers me that Blogger didn't want to spell-check that. If you Google this nonword (that it spell-checks.....), the first definition you will see is "regardless". While I enjoy the hopefully satirical intent behind such a definition, I would prefer something along the lines of:
Your search - irregardless - did not match any documents.
Suggestions:
4) Things that can't be organized in a list format. Nice job idealized Google^.
3) Vanilla ice cream. What is so great about vanilla ice cream? Nothing, it's vanilla. By definition it has no special qualities; lacks distinction and is ordinary. Next.
2) "Expresso". This abomination ranks highly due to my recent hiring at Starbucks. It's astonishing how often "espresso" is mispronounced by customers and even partners.
1) The Oxford (serial) comma. Having a comma precede a linking word in series is annoying, redundant and useless. If you ever witness an oxford comma in a De-approved sentence.......I can't think of a punishment appropriately unpleasant enough for such a crime. Perhaps a lifetime sentence of oxford comma use ;)
-De
As difficult as it was, I did my best to rank these from least to most disliked:
10) Bad puns (sorry Mi). Although almost completely arbitrary, my system for distinguishing good puns from bad employs one rule that has proven true: no pun that includes the word "pun" is worth saying.
9) Liking/favoriting your own posts
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| A-Rod's true love |
8) Hashtags in texts. Those who participate in this reprehensible activity clearly don't understand the hashtag's function. The occasional hashtag in a text as a joke, alright, but meaningless hashtagging has got to stop. Unfortunately, it may be too late; the hashtag disease has spread to spoken communication:
7) Selfies in which you can see the camera.
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| The real joke is on whoever made this. This is clearly an iPhone 4 or newer, which has a front-facing camera. |
6) Really bad/non-segues in a comedy routine:
"And I told my buddy, 'The aliens will never come back if you don't stop making up abduction stories........So I was chatting up this old lady at a Megadeth concert the other day'"
5) This might hurt to type: irregardless. It bothers me that Blogger didn't want to spell-check that. If you Google this nonword (that it spell-checks.....), the first definition you will see is "regardless". While I enjoy the hopefully satirical intent behind such a definition, I would prefer something along the lines of:
Your search - irregardless - did not match any documents.
Suggestions:
- Try regardless
- Try regardless
- Try fucking yourself
4) Things that can't be organized in a list format. Nice job idealized Google^.
3) Vanilla ice cream. What is so great about vanilla ice cream? Nothing, it's vanilla. By definition it has no special qualities; lacks distinction and is ordinary. Next.
2) "Expresso". This abomination ranks highly due to my recent hiring at Starbucks. It's astonishing how often "espresso" is mispronounced by customers and even partners.
1) The Oxford (serial) comma. Having a comma precede a linking word in series is annoying, redundant and useless. If you ever witness an oxford comma in a De-approved sentence.......I can't think of a punishment appropriately unpleasant enough for such a crime. Perhaps a lifetime sentence of oxford comma use ;)
