What Sensationalist Titles are Doing to the Internet and What You Can Do to Stop It.

Social media is hype-driven. But social media is only the vehicle. The driver is far more to blame and people with their overly-socialized fingers are the driving force behind this stupid problem. The solution for this is simple and kind of a letdown I'm sure (isn't that how this is supposed to go?)

Stop falling for it.

-De

Do You Feel Alive? A Tribute to Tom DeLonge

Self-promotion. Shameless self-promotion. But not really shameless as I am attempting to alleviate my shame through admission. And not entirely self-promotion as the album is a tribute to another. Sometimes I like to make statements and then disprove them immediately. This entire paragraph was a waste of time.

If you are a fan of Tom DeLonge, blink-182, Angels & Airwaves, Box Car Racer or even the Big Oily Men, go listen to my tribute album:


Do You Feel Alive? The Tom DeLonge Tribute Album





Maybe Mi has follow-up questions, maybe he doesn't.

-De

MoT 2014 NFL Mock Draft: Top 10

Usually by this time, the number one pick has been predetermined, but this year, no one is even sure which team will be drafting first, let alone which player. Should be an entertaining night to say the least.

I really wanted to do a complete first round mock, but I'm going for accuracy here and I'm of the opinion there will be quite a few trades that go down beyond the first 10 picks. Outside of Atlanta, I don't believe there is much room for teams to trade up in the top 10. Plus, we love us some top 10s here at MoT.

1. Houston Texans:  Jadeveon Clowney, DE, South Carolina
The best player in college football should go 1st overall. Also, I believe the character/laziness issues will be literally worked out of him, because J.J. Watt won't let him slack off on the field. Defensive scheme be damned, as long as Clowney plays defense in the NFL, he will be star. The Falcons recognize this fact and could very well trade up to take him.

2. St. Louis Rams: Greg Robinson, OT, Auburn
Has the most upside of all of the offensive lineman in the draft. May not be as pro-ready as the next lineman off the board and he may not start at left tackle right away, but he is the most physical blocker in this year's draft and the last time I checked, football was all about physical play. The Rams are looking for the next Orlando Pace

3. Jacksonville Jaguars: Khalil Mack, OLB, Buffalo
As safe as a pick can be in this draft. Many mocks have him going number one; however, I think Clowney matches the hype, leaving Mack as the second best defensive player of this draft. Excellent as a pass-rushing, run defending and coverage linebacker.

4. Cleveland Browns: Sammy Watkins, WR, Clemson
The Browns are in a position to dramatically improve their offense. Drafting Watkins would give them another legitimate number one receiver. The Browns could have the opportunity to draft Teddy Bridgewater at pick 26 and address their quarterback issue. I believe Bortles and Bridgewater will be the best quarterbacks to come out of this draft.

5. Oakland Raiders: Mike Evans, WR, Texas A&M
The second best WR in this draft, but not by a large margin. A big-play receiver who has made Manziel look really good. The Raiders have made some horrid picks in the recent past, including at the receiver position. The Raiders, however, seem to be at a turning point as a franchise and Mike Evans would fill a big need for them.

6. Atlanta Falcons: Jake Matthews, OT, Texas A&M
Jake Matthews is another really safe pick. Matt Ryan was hammered last season and was the third most sacked QB in the league. The Falcons need the stability and reliability that comes with Matthews. If they don't trade up to take one of the best athletes we've ever seen in college football, Matthews is the answer at pick 6.

7. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Johnny Manziel, QB, Texas A&M
The third Aggie taken in this draft, Mr. Manziel brings athleticism and play-making ability to the quarterback position. If I were the GM of the Bucs, I would pass on Manziel here, but I think the need at quarterback is too great and they will draft on need here.

8. Minnesota Vikings: Justin Gilbert, CB, Oklahoma State
The best coverage corner in this draft, Justin Gilbert will help Minnesota against the potent passing attacks of the NFC North.

9. Buffalo Bills: Taylor Lewan, OT, Michigan
Not the most physical offensive lineman in the draft, but he makes up for it in technique and quickness.

10. Detroit Lions: Darqueze Dennard, CB, Michigan State
Detroit is physical up front on defense, albeit not very disciplined, but they need a lot of help in their secondary. He is a physical corner who excels in press coverage, but also possesses good speed and can keep up with most receivers.


-De

Not Another Random How To: How to Dress Like a Gangsta

I was going to just post this on MoT nation or the ReMusings page, then I thought (actual internal dialogue), "No, this is worth posting to the site".

So, in case you were looking for it, I found the whitest article on the internet. The clincher is the "Warning" section:

http://www.wikihow.com/Dress-Like-a-Gangsta

Assuming you've read and possibly laughed your way through the above, I have two bits of insight to share. If you are searching the internet for "how to dress like a gangsta" 1) you're not a gangster and 2) it's too late for you to become one.

Lack of an apostrophe
That's pretty gangsta

Now you may be wondering, "How might De have come upon this article? Does he perhaps aspire to be a gangster?"

Wow. Ridiculous questions.

For further entertainment, imagine the above article in the voice of Herbert the Pervert. Also, consider reading:

"How to Dress Like a Puerto Rican Gangsta"

This article actually suggests not listening to others, rendering all practical use for this article impossible.  

-De

The MoT Top 10: The Twenty-Ninth

Top 10 Things that De Doesn't Like

As difficult as it was, I did my best to rank these from least to most disliked:

10) Bad puns (sorry Mi). Although almost completely arbitrary, my system for distinguishing good puns from bad employs one rule that has proven true: no pun that includes the word "pun" is worth saying. 

9) Liking/favoriting your own posts

A-Rod's true love

8) Hashtags in texts. Those who participate in this reprehensible activity clearly don't understand the hashtag's function. The occasional hashtag in a text as a joke, alright, but meaningless hashtagging has got to stop. Unfortunately, it may be too late; the hashtag disease has spread to spoken communication:

7) Selfies in which you can see the camera.

The real joke is on whoever made this. This is clearly an iPhone 4 or newer, which has a front-facing camera. 

6) Really bad/non-segues in a comedy routine:

"And I told my buddy, 'The aliens will never come back if you don't stop making up abduction stories........So I was chatting up this old lady at a Megadeth concert the other day'"

5) This might hurt to type: irregardless. It bothers me that Blogger didn't want to spell-check that. If you Google this nonword (that it spell-checks.....), the first definition you will see is "regardless". While I enjoy the hopefully satirical intent behind such a definition, I would prefer something along the lines of:

Your search - irregardless - did not match any documents.

Suggestions:

• Try regardless
• Try regardless
• Try fucking yourself

4) Things that can't be organized in a list format. Nice job idealized Google^.

3) Vanilla ice cream. What is so great about vanilla ice cream? Nothing, it's vanilla. By definition it has no special qualities; lacks distinction and is ordinary. Next.

2) "Expresso". This abomination ranks highly due to my recent hiring at Starbucks. It's astonishing how often "espresso" is mispronounced by customers and even partners.

1) The Oxford (serial) comma. Having a comma precede a linking word in series is annoying, redundant and useless. If you ever witness an oxford comma in a De-approved sentence.......I can't think of a punishment appropriately unpleasant enough for such a crime. Perhaps a lifetime sentence of oxford comma use ;)

-De

De's San Diego Vacation

Because of my extended absence from the blogospehere, I have returned with a Superblog! detailing my summer vacation (as you can see, we haven't had one of those in a while^). Sadly, this isn't your typical Superblog! with multiple authors, as Mi has been abducted by aliens and Ho's blogging career remains in a state of retirement.  

 My view from the plane

It had been far too long since my last vacation and longer still since I had been to California. My parents actually had the awesome idea of going to San Diego for a post-graduation, last family vacation. I saw this as an opportunity to explore some blink-182 past and present, as well as some other more touristy places. For those unaware, blink-182 was formed in Poway, CA, a suburb just outside of San Diego, the hometown of co-frontman Tom DeLonge and luckily enough, where my dad booked our hotel.

Sombrero Mexican Restaurant

Sombrero at 11040 Rancho Carmel Drive, San Diego

One of the spots I had to hit was a Mexican restaurant called Sombrero, made famous by the blink song "Josie". Mark and Tom of blink-182 used to frequent Sombrero between recording sessions and would often receive fan mail there. So, thanks to Yelp and this particular location's proximity to Poway, I determined this was the place. I asked an employee at the counter if they still receive blink fan mail, to which he replied, "Yeah, every once in a while". Nice.

The video below is part 3 of an MTV series called "The Road Home" which shows one of Tom and Mark's visits to Sombrero (sorry, the video will only play on YouTube through the title link). 

My California Burrito

Carne asada, cheese, pico de gallo, fries and yes, it's as good as it looks.

This location has clearly undergone some expansion over the last decade, but the blink-182 tribute in the bathroom (pictured below) cleared any confusion.

Fans' tribute to blink-182 in the bathroom

top half

bottom half

I wish I could say I had written something on the board, but I was sadly without a marker. Damn, I guess I'll have to go back.....

Sea World

Dolphin Encounter

One Shamu

Two Shamu

Mostly, Sea World blew. It wasn't at all as I remembered. Apart from being inanely overpriced, it was super crowded for a week day. Also, the Shamu "One World" propaganda show was really short and melodramatic. I felt like the orcae weren't the focus at all.

Macbeth Flagship Boutique

Macbeth store in Encinitas, CA

Tom DeLonge sat here

They don't call Macbeth a boutique to be fancy. This store is fucking small. I honestly believe they rented out the storage area of the adjacent store to create room for this one. But, since it is Macbeth's only physical store in the U.S., I had to check it out. Macbeth is a footwear, apparel and accessories company founded by Tom and Mark in 2002 (Mark later sold his stake in the company). Only a week before I arrived, the Macbeth Boutique hosted a party with a fan signing by Tom DeLonge and David Kennedy (Angels & Airwaves) as well as live performances by David Kennedy and Night Riots. I asked the one employee at the store about the party and in his words, "It was crazy". What sucks is the original plan was to leave the week before, meaning I would have party anecdotes to share. I know, I'm disappointed in me too. Please don't be mad. Here, look at some pretty pictures:

San Diego Safari Park

Lion and lioness (in truck)

Mission Beach, San Diego

Dem waves

Overall, it was one of the best trips I've had, despite the usual tension that goes along with family vacations. The weather was perfect every day. Also, it was really cool my aunt and cousin were able to drive down from L.A. and stay in the hotel with us for a few days. I hope to return to San Diego soon and on a much more permanent basis. I leave you with these incandescent words of wisdom:

"Everyone else but me surfs, I grew up skateboarding, but I don't even do that anymore. I'll get hurt and die.....but if I die, I'll sell more records. We're thinking of doing that. Actually dying." (Tom DeLonge)


-De

The MoT Top 10: The Twenty-Sixth

This week's Top 10 is brought to you by a good friend of ours and a long time member of the MoT Nation. We give you, El!

Top 10 Worst Ways to Hit on a Girl

Flirting can be fun and exciting, but the goal should always be not to completely creep out a girl.  Some of these may or may not be real experiences of mine…

10) Telling her she's a buttaface.

9) Pronouncing her name wrong

8) Trying to holla at a girl when she is with her dad

7) Drunken Facebook messaging like "wgasts up sedxy! Wannfa talkj dirtyu?"

6) Claiming to be 15 years younger and trying to go for the girl that is 20 years younger than you

5) With the line, "Hey girl, I'd love to see you lick a popsicle topless"

4) Creeping on the new girl at work and asking her out via e-mail

3) Asking a girl if she can smell steroids on you

2) Sending a Snapchat video of your junk to a girl you've never met

1) Spotting a cute girl at a store and following her to her car when she is alone and it is dark outside; asking her out will not only result in some version of "hell no", but she may be armed and ready to use some highly potent pepper spray.....

-El

The MoT Top 10: The Twenty-Fifth

Top 10 Best Ways to Die

Don't get too excited......The MoT Top 10 has returned!!

Hopefully unnecessary disclaimer: Please don't interpret this as a list of suggestions.


10) After defeating your mortal enemy

9) While saving someone else. It's the circle of life, it's circular, like a circle. Simba. Magic. Beautiful. All good things.

8) In a magic trick gone wrong; at least you had an audience/witnesses

7) In Call of Duty, revenge is only a respawn away

6) By firing squad, it doesn't take 7 rifles to kill one person, but it still looks badass

5) In a soap opera, you'll get to come back as your own long lost twin

4) Down with the ship. The Black Pearl

3) With a chilling catchphrase like, "I'll be back", but you won't.

2) After everyone else, you have just won life

1) Hard, and not from a Viagra overdose

-DeMi  

The Making of a MoT Top 10

Waaaaay back when DeMi used to write Top 10s on a weekly basis, we usually brainstormed over late-night phone conversations. The eleventh MoT Top 10, however, we discussed over Facebook instead. It is the creation of that Top 10 we would like to share. Below is the beginning of that conversation and the entirety of it is embedded as well as provided through a link to the same Google Doc.

Mi

De

april is gonna be the month to smash records brah
alright which top 10 do you wanna do?



I want to do.....
what are my options

the current one,
any other one you think of

not at the moment mon frere
we stopped doing the stick to the man one right



go to a bar order a cocktail on the rocks, finish it, take it outside and sell the melted ice to minors
do you have a good one for that?



no

ah lol
Top 10 Things Toddlers Don't Have to Worry About

ooooh
shitting their pants

sucking tits



regularly
toddlers?
tho



peeing on trees
loll
yeah you're right

we can change it to babies

Easter is on Sunday
Top 10 Things Jesus Would Not Do

uh oh

lol

Picket Funerals

1) Mary Magdelene

ohhhhhhhh
nice lol

thanks

secular
easter bunnies

wear shoes

lol

wear pants



swim

speak in ebonics

catch only one fish

lol

alright we're doing this one


https://drive.google.com/?pli=1&authuser=0#my-drive




New Top 10 coming this Sunday!

-DeMi