Quite simply: Don't.
Otherwise if you enjoy harrowing experiences, near-death and otherwise, just follow this quick guide that will have you on or off the road in no time!
This Indian man said to me: 'Indians don't drive on the left or the right. They drive on what is left." A truer statement has never been uttered. If you are a Westerner, or are accustomed to 2 lane roads in general, you would take it as a general understanding that lanes and medians exist for a reason. In India, it is best that you treat these "lines" on the road as two-dimensional abstract art. The only reason that you are driving here as opposed to there is that there might be a 10 ton bus coming your way, there are trees larger than a sapling, or you don't plan on off-roading, because you find yourself without your Jeep.
Need to get there faster? No one is in the oncoming traffic "lane". No worries, just cruise down the shoulder/pedestrian walkway/construction zone lane for awhile. All others are clearly idiots for not thinking of this prime opportunity.
"Horn OK Please"
Second, if you are on of these two wheeled motorized vehicles you have several advantages. You don't have to pay tolls. And the most notable advantage. Weaving. You can go to L.A. and think that the motorcycles there are ridiculous. But here, the motorcycles are going 2-3 deep between cars, buses and trucks. If there is a 1 foot gap, you damn right better go through or someone else will. In months you will learn how to navigate gridlocked traffic like a champ! Just remember to use your horn.
Otherwise if you enjoy harrowing experiences, near-death and otherwise, just follow this quick guide that will have you on or off the road in no time!
Lines Lines Lines
Need to get there faster? No one is in the oncoming traffic "lane". No worries, just cruise down the shoulder/pedestrian walkway/construction zone lane for awhile. All others are clearly idiots for not thinking of this prime opportunity.
"Horn OK Please"
 |
| Truck drivers legitimately appreciate you alerting them with your horn. Hence this phrase. |
Do you ever feel the irresistible urge to just lay on the horn for 10 seconds at a time? Wellll chief, in India, it is your right, and damn well expected. Like bats, most experienced drivers in India have a 6th sense-- echolocation. More useful than mirrors, you must learn to rely on your ears to know when someone is entering your blind spot.
Is That Yo' Weave? How to 2 Wheel it in India
Mopeds and Motorcycles are highly popular in India. First off, if you can't fit your entire family on a motorcycle, you are clearly doing something wrong.
 |
| This is a family vehicle. Minivans are for yuppie moms. |
Stop lights? More like go lights!
Now we are getting to the finer nuances of Indian driving. A stoplight is ahead and the light looks red, but you can't really tell, because everyone else around you is apparently color deficient. These traffic lights are more of a game of momentum. Are there more cars going in your direction or are there more cars intersecting? Are you feeling lucky? Do you have a foghorn equipped in your boot? These are all careful considerations to take as you check out that intersection. The most important thing to consider is if you never go, you won't make it to the other side.
Attaining Your Drivers License
Yes you do need a driver's license to drive in India. Oh and interesting tidbit I'll throw in here that's only really important, but because they are an ex-British colony they drive on the left. Hope that's ok.
To acquire your Indian's driver's license you pay about 300 Indian Rupees ($5) in processing fees, submit several passport photos of yourself or someone that looks like you, and allegedly take a test. Though from what I have heard is that all they do is take your money...Safe to say, I don't really want to drive in India.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Please! It's quite bare down here!