Tuesday, September 30

"Dear Diary,
I spill onto you like a baby does his bib. My thoughts come flashing forth and I grasp you to pen my every thought. Without you as a medium my life would merely contain as much of a point as the quill I am using. I wish to divulge to you my deepest darkest secrets. And so I digress.

Hey Diary, Will you really keep this a secret? I mean, I wouldn't want J.R. or you-know-who to find out. Wait I sense a patter of footsteps down the hallway, I must extinguish this candle, sorry Dearest Diary, perhaps another day!"

*Hey*, De this is an excerpt I came across in a journal of yore. Sadly, this book has been charred badly but I would like to-- as tribute to this schizophrenic-seeming-unnamed-person --continue on their story in a biweekly installment. Your thoughts and correspondence would be much appreciated.

-Mi

post-note-thing (* denotes the appropriate way in saying "hey", which may or many not be directed to your previous post.
post-note-thing-thing (P.S. <- I do know about Post Scripts)

Fuck Her Life

McDonald's drive-thru. 3:48 on the evening of September 27th . An elderly misanthrope, I'll call her Biddy, goes out of turn and pulls in front of me in line. So, I yell "Ey, I was before you! She responds with "No, I ordered first". "Ummm...noooo you didn't" I said and before she could answer....BOOM!, she hits the SUV in front of her. In reality, the collision was as minor as they come; the BOOM! was Karma punching the old biddy in face. Next, this large, relatively intimidating black woman gets out of the SUV, and Biddy asks the question of all questions "Did, I hit you?". "Yeah, whatcha think? You done hit my car!" At this point, laughing out loud for me is not only an option, it is becoming painful not to. Fortunately, the damage to the car required only some scratch remover, so the drive-thru line moved along and I was able to get my quarter-pounder and make it to work on time. Hold it.....Ms. Biddy got off scot-free and got her food before me. You know what......FML.

-De

Poll Archive

Greetings only reader. We have decided to archive the closed Polls just for you. We topped out at a whopping 5 votes on some of them. It was prolly Mi, De, you, and some poor confused wandering souls.

Best Dwight Schrute quote?

I don't have a lot of experience with vampires, but I have hunted werewolves. I shot one once, but by the time I got to it, it had turned back into my neighbor's dog


"Who the fuck is Dwight Schrute?


If I could menstruate, I wouldn’t have to deal with idiotic calendars anymore. I’d just be able to count down from my previous cycle. Plus, I’d be more in tune with the moon and the tides.


Why tip someone for a job I'm capable of doing myself? I can deliver food. I can drive a taxi. I can, and do, cut my own hair. I did however, tip my urologist, because I am unable to pulverize my own kidney stones.


I grew up on a farm. I have seen animals having sex in every position imaginable. Goat on chicken. Chicken on goat. Couple of chickens doing a goat, couple of pigs watching

prolly going to redo this one.

Best Blink Song?

My personal favorite (no picture wanted...)

Does Cher have a penis?

And thus concludes those polls. More to arrive shortly hereafter, and thereafterhere.

-Mi

Muse on This!

The De is starting a band. It has to be done I think, because I have all this dormant musical energy.

Side note, I'm watching That '70s show, and Hyde went in for a job interview with Leo (the guy who's toked all the time) and by the end of the interview, he was Leo's boss.

So back to this band (you see why I don't get anything done), the first course of action is to create a bitchin' band name and this is where Musings on Tap Nation comes in. So Nation (Colbert is beaming with pride at this moment), I submit to you to submit your ideas.

-De

Long time coming

Not a sexual joke. Merely the last time either of us authors wrote something it was....Let's just say that was a sexual joke.

Summer is falling upon us. Another joke, but not sexual. Unless her name is Summer, and fall is the colloquial term for head.

How about a random trivia fact?
In Roman tragedies, Bruskins were worn, however in comedies they donned socks (like those that jesters wear).

Another thing I've been a-ponderin about..

De had mentioned Zeitgeist to me. Not the German romanticist term (for further reading), but the films (for further watching). yeah. And I think they are mostly a bunch of crap, without many substantial sources. But they do lead me to think about life questions and such, however John Lennon accomplished this with his song 'Imagine' plenty a year ago. I'm sure De will have plenty of input in the soonwhile.

(Bastard Mark Chapman)

Dude murdered John Lennon

-Mi