Top 10 Reasons to Vote for Scott Walker
10) His dad was a preacher. We all know preacher's children turn out perfect.
9) He doesn't have a Bachelor's Degree. The guy is so smart he doesn't need one...
8) He was an Eagle Scout. If the dude can scout out and recruit eagles, he definitely can find solutions to the state's problems.
7) Scott Walker hates to admit this because he doesn't want to win the election for unfair reasons, but Scott Walker is half Black.
6) Scott Walker can remember Pi to 1000 numbers after the decimal, therefore he should win this recall election
5) He's one of us; he uses Wikipedia for all his statistics.
4) In the last year he has improved to a fifth grade reading level from all the hate mail.
3) He launders money. Getting money to smell good consistently is no easy task.
2) Lost in the wilderness with nothing but a pitchfork, Scott Walker stayed alive for three weeks by making deals with squirrels. "I won't cut down your tree if you hand over that acorn."
1) Scott Walker will create hundreds of new jobs by enlisting specialized teams of pre-schoolers to create new accounting methods so he can quite literally "fudge the numbers".
Go vote, Wisconsin.
-DeMi
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Please! It's quite bare down here!