Top 10 Ways to Discreetly Sleep in Class
College is rough and we understand. The following is an extremely realistic list of tactics for worry-free napping to get you through those lectures that just aren't engaging enough to deserve your indulgence. Here we go:
10) Just Do It. And I don't mean fall asleep in class and hope for the best. I mean when life hands you lemons, have sex with the teacher.
9) Tell the professor your ability to listen is heightened when you close your eyes
8) Give the professor crazy eyes until he avoids eye contact with you. This guy knows what I'm talking about.
7) " Get your eyes dilated" before every class so you have an excuse to wear those awesome post-dilation blinders.
6) On the first day of class, set the standard by taking of your pants in plain sight of everyone in the room. If your professor doesn't notice, proceed with impunity. In fact, don't go to class anymore. If your professor does notice, he will be grateful when he catches you sleeping, because at least you aren't taking off your pants.
5) Convince your professor you are very nearsighted and have to put your forehead on the book to read it.
4) Have a friend wear a different costume everyday (lion, Nicki Minaj, sumo suit) No one's going to be looking at you. Depending on the friend, this make require some convincing.
3) Sit next to a hot girl. Again, no one's gonna be looking at you. Disregard if you are a hot girl.
2) Paint eyes on your eyelids.
-DeMi
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