MoT 2014 NFL Mock Draft: Top 10

Usually by this time, the number one pick has been predetermined, but this year, no one is even sure which team will be drafting first, let alone which player. Should be an entertaining night to say the least.

I really wanted to do a complete first round mock, but I'm going for accuracy here and I'm of the opinion there will be quite a few trades that go down beyond the first 10 picks. Outside of Atlanta, I don't believe there is much room for teams to trade up in the top 10. Plus, we love us some top 10s here at MoT.

1. Houston Texans:  Jadeveon Clowney, DE, South Carolina
The best player in college football should go 1st overall. Also, I believe the character/laziness issues will be literally worked out of him, because J.J. Watt won't let him slack off on the field. Defensive scheme be damned, as long as Clowney plays defense in the NFL, he will be star. The Falcons recognize this fact and could very well trade up to take him.

2. St. Louis Rams: Greg Robinson, OT, Auburn
Has the most upside of all of the offensive lineman in the draft. May not be as pro-ready as the next lineman off the board and he may not start at left tackle right away, but he is the most physical blocker in this year's draft and the last time I checked, football was all about physical play. The Rams are looking for the next Orlando Pace

3. Jacksonville Jaguars: Khalil Mack, OLB, Buffalo
As safe as a pick can be in this draft. Many mocks have him going number one; however, I think Clowney matches the hype, leaving Mack as the second best defensive player of this draft. Excellent as a pass-rushing, run defending and coverage linebacker.

4. Cleveland Browns: Sammy Watkins, WR, Clemson
The Browns are in a position to dramatically improve their offense. Drafting Watkins would give them another legitimate number one receiver. The Browns could have the opportunity to draft Teddy Bridgewater at pick 26 and address their quarterback issue. I believe Bortles and Bridgewater will be the best quarterbacks to come out of this draft.

5. Oakland Raiders: Mike Evans, WR, Texas A&M
The second best WR in this draft, but not by a large margin. A big-play receiver who has made Manziel look really good. The Raiders have made some horrid picks in the recent past, including at the receiver position. The Raiders, however, seem to be at a turning point as a franchise and Mike Evans would fill a big need for them.

6. Atlanta Falcons: Jake Matthews, OT, Texas A&M
Jake Matthews is another really safe pick. Matt Ryan was hammered last season and was the third most sacked QB in the league. The Falcons need the stability and reliability that comes with Matthews. If they don't trade up to take one of the best athletes we've ever seen in college football, Matthews is the answer at pick 6.

7. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Johnny Manziel, QB, Texas A&M
The third Aggie taken in this draft, Mr. Manziel brings athleticism and play-making ability to the quarterback position. If I were the GM of the Bucs, I would pass on Manziel here, but I think the need at quarterback is too great and they will draft on need here.

8. Minnesota Vikings: Justin Gilbert, CB, Oklahoma State
The best coverage corner in this draft, Justin Gilbert will help Minnesota against the potent passing attacks of the NFC North.

9. Buffalo Bills: Taylor Lewan, OT, Michigan
Not the most physical offensive lineman in the draft, but he makes up for it in technique and quickness.

10. Detroit Lions: Darqueze Dennard, CB, Michigan State
Detroit is physical up front on defense, albeit not very disciplined, but they need a lot of help in their secondary. He is a physical corner who excels in press coverage, but also possesses good speed and can keep up with most receivers.


-De

The MoT Top 10: The Twenty-Eighth

General Hospital is the longest running American soap opera still in production and the third-longest running American drama. Wow, what interesting facts DeMi! (sarcastic excitement). Before we continue, it should be made clear that this Top 10 is not entirely about General Hospital. More fun facts: 12,987 episodes at 42 minutes each. It would take 376 days to watch every episode; longer still since it's still running. The point of this killer intro is if the writers of GH can continually recycle plot lines and revive deceased characters for over a year's worth of material, surely DeMi can bring back the Top 10.

Here are the Top 10 Things Younger Than General Hospital:

10) The Beatles in America

9) The NASDAQ exchange

8) Assassination of John F. Kennedy

7) MLK's "I Have a Dream" speech

6) The nanosecond - You couldn't have watched GH in nanoseconds, because you wouldn't have known what a nanosecond was

5) Our moms

4) The Clean Air Act

3) Women in space

2) Zip codes

1) Hepatitis-B vaccine - If a patient at General Hospital were diagnosed with Hep-B before 1980, they would be SOL.


Just Missed the Cut
Here are a few things that have been around slightly longer than GH:

Michael Jordan

Valium

Obama

The smiley face

This is the first smiley face design introduced to popular culture. That's right, the first fucking smiley. We only have content of the highest quality here at MoT.

-DeMi

The MoT Top 10: The Twenty-Seventh

Mr. groom to be, Frank, asked me to compile a top 10 list of songs. As that was kinda vague I made the list to be the Top 10 songs he should have on his wedding playlist. For those that don't know I was roommates with Frank for all four years in college. So I would say I know his musical tastes pretty well.

Check it.

Top 10 Songs for Frank

10) 

Time of Your Life - Green Day

I like this one because it's a classic, cliche since it came out. However, Green Day was one of the bands that I played a lot our Freshman year- the year where Frank mostly listened to classic rock. Oh how that was soon to change.

9)

Anna Sun - Walk the Moon

This is one of the songs Frank would just jam out to. Study break, or whatever this was a great stress reliever.  Lyrics probably aren't wedding appropriate, but it's upbeat and who cares.

8)

Good for Great - Matt and Kim 

Pretty simple here. Matt and Kim is one of our (De excluded, but that's not important right now) favorite bands. This intro to this songs sounds pretty amazing played loud over Frank's studio monitors. Also Frank doesn't read books, another key lyrics to this song. "for late leave sleep" - our motto

7)

Sleepyhead - Passion Pit

I think it was Sophomore year. This song was played..a lot. One time we stayed up til 5 a.m. binge writing a 10 page drama paper. This song was definitely a part of that.

6)

My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark (Light 'Em Up) - Fall Out Boy

Senior year. If Frank didn't have this song cranked when I got back to the room something was wrong. Minor hyperbole post-alert.

5)

5 Years Time- Noah and the Whale

Another one of Frank's classic sing-along-songs. And it just leaves you feeling so happy.

4)

Magic - B.o.B.

This song was a staple. Always trying to get the rap part right. Jamming out at soccer games. This one had a long lifespan. Also pro-friend proving alert. Frank if you still have that label I made you post it to the FB group.

3)

Sail - Awolnation

Junior year spring break I spent the week at Frank's house. Going to play basketball, cruising around town, or driving 4 hours to accidentally find ourselves in South Carolina, this song was bumping

2)

Daylight- Matt and Kim

This is the song that got us hooked on Matt and Kim. Awesome piano. Awesome music video. And so much energy doe. One of the few bands Frank introduced to me...ha I kid I kid. But damn this song was just the perfect song to unwind to at the end of the day.

1)

Saturday Love - Angels and Airwaves

One of our favorite bands (De is finally included). The lyrics are really fun to sing. The feelings are real. It's AvA. I had to decide between this one and Surrender..if he didn't sing each of these a thousand times I'd be surprised. AvA was our choice of chill out/ study music, and the awesome part was that you could also crank it and sing along. 

0) Boom. Included

Thrift Shop - Macklemore

Because if it wasn't included it would be admitting to not knowing Mr. FJT. Admittedly, he was a thrift shop hipster. He showed me this song a good 4 months before it got more airplay than a good metaphor. I'll try harder next time, promise. He knew the words, and he would dance. Turn this song on and Frank (tried to) bec(o)ame Macklemore. It was quality entertainment. Especially for Taylor, right Taylor?

BONUS LIST

Top 10 Frank Verifiably Can Dance to Dance Songs 

1) Teach me how to dougie

Not actually verified

2) Party Rock Anthem 

Do the Spongebob

3) Rock That Beat - High Street Allstars

Jumpstyle

4) 2 Step

5) Walk it out 

Nope, this one's just me. Sorry.

6) Jerk

Frank told me in full confidentiality that he had a dream in which he jerked it. 

7) Moonwalk

There is a little Billy Jean in all of us.

8) Moving Like Bernie

His preferred dance move for Thrift Shop

9) Wobble

Wobble baby, wobble baby, wobble baby

10) Yes

"Let's do the fork in the garbage disposal"

Congratulations to Frank and Taylor on their marriage this September 7th! I am pretty excited for them and know that they're going to be able to finally take that third wheel off and live on their own. Though you know guys, rent is a lot cheaper with more people...

-Mi though De is here in spirit. But not dead.

The MoT Top 10: The Twenty-Sixth

This week's Top 10 is brought to you by a good friend of ours and a long time member of the MoT Nation. We give you, El!

Top 10 Worst Ways to Hit on a Girl

Flirting can be fun and exciting, but the goal should always be not to completely creep out a girl.  Some of these may or may not be real experiences of mine…

10) Telling her she's a buttaface.

9) Pronouncing her name wrong

8) Trying to holla at a girl when she is with her dad

7) Drunken Facebook messaging like "wgasts up sedxy! Wannfa talkj dirtyu?"

6) Claiming to be 15 years younger and trying to go for the girl that is 20 years younger than you

5) With the line, "Hey girl, I'd love to see you lick a popsicle topless"

4) Creeping on the new girl at work and asking her out via e-mail

3) Asking a girl if she can smell steroids on you

2) Sending a Snapchat video of your junk to a girl you've never met

1) Spotting a cute girl at a store and following her to her car when she is alone and it is dark outside; asking her out will not only result in some version of "hell no", but she may be armed and ready to use some highly potent pepper spray.....

-El

The MoT Top 10: The Twenty-Fourth

A little back-story. One year ago today, DeMi was coming up with this Top 10, and my roommate, Frank, overheard our list. Halfway through the list we realized that April 1st was the next day and we decided that we could not miss out on an April Fool's themed blog. So Frank asked what happened to this Top 10, and we told him it didn't exist, and half-asleep he tried to come to terms with our....LIE!

HERE IT IS FRANK, APRIL FOOLS! ONE YEAR LATER!

Top 10 Ways to Get Your Money's Worth

10) Pick a restaurant, grab a plate and make the kitchen your buffet.

9) Hire a prostitute and shoot video of your fun together. Sell it as porno.

8) Always take a penny; never leave a penny.

7)  Buy some skittles. Taste the rainbow. Follow the rainbow. Make the leprechaun your bitch.

6) With your gym membership, make it a point to touch every machine in the gym, even the ones that somebody maybe using. Maybe with a wink.

5) Always extend the hose of the gas dispenser and shake it vigorously for 5 minutes to get "every last drop"

4) Double bag all your groceries at the self check-out. Make accessories from these bags, and fail at starting a new fashion trend.

3) Stay 3 hours after you're done with a meal to continue getting water refills. Go to the bathroom when they're not looking to make them think you have a bladder of steel.

2) Rock a temporary or real tattoo of your foes telephone number on your forehead while sitting in the front row at a big sports venue.

1) Buy North Korea, resurrect Kim Jong Il and hence resurrect all that was right about the country.

-DeMi

The MoT Top 10: The Twenty-Third - Easter

Top 10 Places to Hide Your Eggs

10) On the far side of anything: moon, mountain, magic carpet ride, comic.

9) In a carton labeled "Not Eggs"

8) In a yolk

7) In an omelette

6) In a vegan's fridge

5) Auntie's bonnet

4) In a nest

3) In the grocery store

2) In the past

1) Ovaries

-DeMi

The MoT Top 10: The Fourteenth

Top 10 Ways to Put on Pants

I know what you're thinking, no way are there ten ways to put on pants. We used to be as naive. Also, don't be misled. It's absolutely acceptable to not wear pants at all times. No one ever said no pants, no shirt, no service.

10) Paint them on

9) Go to the store without pants and find a suitable pair there. Maybe even a pant suit if it fancies you to be fancy

8) Head first

7) Two legs at a time

6) With the help of someone attractive

5) As part of your Irish jig dance routine

4) Like everyone else does, one leg at a time while listening to "Sexy and I Know It"

3) Ironically, while listening to Take Off Your Pants and Jacket

2) Slowly, after the store clerk tells you that only wearing shoes and and a shirt does not warrant you any service

1) Slowly and with pride, after sex

The MoT Top 10: The Thirteenth

Top 10 Nicknames for Your Privates

10) Han's Chinese brother often uses this one:
Hung Solo

9) Geography Themed?
The Dead Sea or Mariana Trench.

8) Whispering Eye
(that means vagina)

7) White, nerdy, and pervy?
Space Invader or Pac-Man

6) For all you gypsy women out there:
Snake Charmer (Verrrry niiicce, how much?)

5) MC "Jack" Hammer
It's Hammer Time!

4) Hot Pocket

3) Junkle Berries
Or really any type of berries, real or imaginary. Honeysuckle, Cow, Ollalie, Avocado, Choke, or Privet Berry. (These are actually all real)

Here we see the Privet Berry in its full form.

2) For the way overly obese man or woman:
The Final Frontier

And now, ladies and gentleman alike, prepare to have your favorite childhood snacks ruined:

1) Gusher(s) / Fruit by the Foot


-DeMi

The MoT 10: The Tenth

Top 10 Things to Do on April Fool's Day

10) Yell at your boss. Let him or her know what a shitty job they are doing as a supervisor and a person. Be as specific as possible. Then quit. Bookend it, of course, with an "April Fool's"

9) In church, stand up, and proclaim "YOU ARE ALL FOOL'S, APRIL FOOL'S, HAR HAR HAR HAR", leave.

8) Masturbate in the bathroom, come outside, and tell onlookers "April Fool's".

7) Sit down with your parents. Gently break the news to them that you are dying. Then say "Just kidding, I thought that would make it easier to tell you..... I'm gay". And before they break out into tears, relieve them with an "April Fool's".

6) Smash an egg on someone's head. When they get mad ask them why they're not in the spirit.

5) Pull the ol' door wedge in revolving door trick.

4) When walking in a large group of people, wait until somebody passes your group and then point and look at the sky in unison. Try to see how long you can confuse the person. Similarly, when walking along, avoid arbitrary points on the ground with gasps and obviously overt, outward (redundancy is forgiven with alliteration) fear in hopes the person behind you blindly follows suit.

3) Carry a baggy with a non-descript white powder in it, scratch your nose often.

2)Introduce yourself as the esteemed so and so.

"I am the esteemed Dauphin of Thailand"

"I am the esteemed Head of Broccoli"

"I am the esteemed Duchess of Holland"

"I am the esteemed feelings of Jack"

1) Tell your good friend that they still haven't figured out your joke from last year, and that it's both pathetic and hilarious. The more people in on this the better.

"So Mom...do you know about this prank of Mi's?"

*hysterical laughter* *shifty eyes*

"Nooo Mom, not you too!"


-DeMi


P.S We have postponed April Fool's day until Further Notice.





P.P.S Further Notice Fool's!

The MoT Top 10: The Ninth

Top 10 Weighs too Annoy You're english Teacher
(Sorry Ms. Phillips)

10) Write your papers in a foreign language.

9) Create your own verb tense and insist on it's use.

8) Write your sentences from right to left. When asked about this, which you will be, be prepared to be a native of any Arabic, Hebrew, Chinese or Japanese speaking country.

7) Confuse you're homophones two the point of patency.

6) Call them out on plagiarism when they write specific examples from the novel you're reading on the board.

5) Write an essay explaining how and why your dog ate your essay. A paw print as a citation is a nice touch.

4) Take every opportunity given to correct your teacher grammatically and syntactically. They will pretend to appreciate it, but truthfully, this is their biggest pet-peeve.

3) Argue the existence of Shakespeare and claim that his works were those of many ghost writers under one pen name.

2) When asked to read aloud in class, pause longer than necessary at commas and don't stop at all at periods.

1) Again, when reading aloud, make offhand comments on the author's writing style. Also pose your own questions to the class and be sure to go off on extremely irrelevant tangents.

Honourable Mentions

Spell words the British way, yoghurt, flavour, crunchatise, colour and so on. Imagination is a bad thing in spelling, so here is a website to guide you. This should inspire a delightful conversation with your teacher where you can argue you are using English in a more pure form.

When another student answers a question, immediately ask "may I offer a rebuttal?".

Put emoticons in your papers.

The MoT Top 10: The Eighth

Top 10 News Headlines

10) "Iranese President, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Comes Out of Closet"

9) "Swing States Learn How to Mambo"

8) "Newt Gingrich's Identity Stolen, Returned Then Refused"

7) "No One Died Today"

6) "Serial Killer Seen Lurking at General Mills Headquarters"

5) "Walrus Swallowed By Man-Eating Walrus"

4) "Bob the Builder Can No More: Fired as Obama's Campaign Manager"

3) "Donald Trump: Not a U.S. Citizen"

2) "Man Dies in Poke War"

1) "Confirmed: Joseph of Nazareth Not the Father"


-DeMi